Ian's 1st Professional Cut

A little over a month ago, I attempted to cut Ian's hair.  It didn't go well.  He was crying hysterically and ended up with an uneven cut.  It was hardly noticeable and since I always have Ian wearing a hat, I wasn't too embarrassed to have it professionally fixed at the time.

Ian gets hot easily and he seemed to be pulling at his hair lately so I finally found the time to take him for his 1st professional cut.  He still cried the whole time, but it was easier to bare since I wasn't doing it.

My One in a Minion

Halloween is my favorite holiday!  Though I don't always go all out with the traditions such as pumpkin carving and decorating, I love dressing up.  I don't usually buy costumes but instead, I like putting things together from what I already have along with a few new pieces.  It's not necessarily about being exact, but being creative. 

This year I dressed Ian as a minion from Despicable Me and we (me, my mom and one of Ian's ninangs) dressed to match the theme.  I initially planned on dressing Ian up as a doctor to match his BMW buggy, but a week before Halloween, I thought it'd be much cuter and fun if we did Despicable Me. 

 Hat: Target Long Sleeve: Old Navy
Overalls: OshKosh (old) Minion Logo: Cut felt and hand sewn

Vino & Vinyasa

This past weekend I attended my first ever Mom's Night Out.  No, it wasn't a night out on the town, wearing tight dresses and heels getting "turnt up".  Instead, it was just what moms really need...a Saturday night without our kids to cater to our mind, body, soul...and talk about our kids with other moms haha.

The night was dubbed, "Vino & Vinyasa." $20 for a 60 minute yoga class under the stars guided by Yoga with Riza, wine & appetizers and raffles & giveaways.

Ian's Custom Buggy

For Ian's 1st birthday, one of my aunts gave him the Step2 Whisper Ride 2 Buggy. I've always liked building/assembling stuff so instead of enlisting guy friends or Ian's grandpa to help, I kept my lips sealed and quietly made this my project.  I wasn't only going to put it together, but I knew I wanted to make it special for Ian.

So..first I had to assemble it.  The instructions were not that helpful.  They were basic, up close drawings of what I should do.  I mean, I know guys don't like reading the directions, but man it was a total guessing game at first. 

Ian Joseph's 1st Clubhouse Party

I don't know about you but a baby's gotta have a 1st birthday party.  I agree it doesn't have to be big or anything like that, and yes, he won't recall a thing.  But Ian and I have had a heck of a year and it's time to celebrate!

Ian's LOVES Mickey Mouse 

so it was only fitting that we throw a Clubhouse themed party.

Ian Joseph is ONE!

Countdown to One

Review: Safety 1st Complete Air 65 Convertible Car Seat

Ian is making his way out the infant stage and just a couple weeks away from turning one!  He's outgrown his infant car seat and upgraded to a convertible car seat.  Before purchasing the right one for him, I researched, read reviews and looked for the best price.   

I chose the Safety 1st Complete Air 65

Happiness is a Journey

Last month, I had the honor of attending a long time friends' wedding.  As I've mentioned here before, weddings don't get to me anymore, but the theme of their wedding was a message that has stuck with me to this day. 

"Happiness is a Journey."

DIY: Baby Photo Shoot Tips

If you follow me on Instagram, you know I had one of those sleepless nights..I was awake for 2 middle of the night feedings :( . When I can't fall asleep, I read up on mommy stuff or catch up on news, but more often than not, I look back at the many photos and videos I've taken of Ian.

#obsessed

I came across photos of his first photo shoot for his baby announcement.  We had professional photos taken at the hospital but because I had doctors, nurses, and visitors coming and going, I left before I could run into the photographer and so I never got to purchase any :( .  I still announced Ian's birth with this quick post for my friends and fam through ig.  

New Kid on the Playgound

 

My First Father's Day

This is one of my all time favorite photos.
It's hard to share such a special, personal moment

especially because it's not Ian's father adoring him.

But you know what, 
this is Grandpa's first look at Ian.

I never asked him what he was thinking as he placed his first gaze at his apo.

By the look on his face,

he looks happy, filled with love,

and I'm sure he's praying.

It's no secret that I'm a major daddy's girl. My dad is an unbelievable man.  Even though he is very humble, it is hard not to see that he is hard working, loving, fair, supportive, understanding, puts others before himself, funny (corny) and most importantly, honest.  

I am so very lucky that Ian has an AMAZING father figure in his grandpa.  I pray everyday that Ian grows up to be a true gentleman, one molded from my father and the other great Tolentino men.  Don't get me wrong, Tolentino's aren't saints, but at the end of the day, we sure as hell can hold our head up high knowing that we own our mistakes, accept and deal with the consequences and maintain a high level of integrity and dignity.

This will be Ian's first Father's Day and all he's known is my dad.  Of course he doesn't understand it now, or maybe for a couple years even.  I hope he doesn't feel left out later down the line.  It's going to be heartbreaking trying to make him understand, but that's just another duty for us single super moms.

Being a father is a role taken by a man who has great pride, love, joy and willingness to be the best example of a good man for a child.  It's going to take a hell of a guy to fill my dad's shoes and be able to earn the pleasure of being Ian's father.  

Happy Father's Day to all the MEN who have stepped up to the role.

Happy Father's Day to all the WOMEN who are doing double duty 

because their baby daddy can't handle responsibility.

*Check back soon for my Tell All Series*

in which I finally share the real story,

walk up the scaffold

and reveal Ian's baby daddy.

<3

Melissa

For the Child Support Win

Blouse & Skirt: Express Purse: gifted Sunglasses: Vintage 

Watch: Michael Kors Shoes: Aldo

Last week I finally had my court date to settle the child support amount.  I'm glad to announce that I finally got it court approved and will finally be collecting!

Here are some things to keep in mind for your first child support appearance:

Read your summons/ court request thoroughly.

The court appearance request packet was confusing for me.  Basically the first page was the request, then I had copies of the summons that was sent to the baby daddy, blank forms to fill out, and a FAQ. The directions for me said just to appear, but why all the blank forms? and the FAQ said to bring a whole bunch of stuff that I had  already turned in when I first filed.  Do I need to do all that again? I called the child support services department to make sure I knew what they needed from me, what I needed to bring and what all the copies, forms all meant.  Even with all the recommendations, I ended up bringing a binder full of stuff.....just in case. 

Representation

With all court appearances, you have the right to have an attorney.  I considered it since I wanted to make sure I could get what was fair and due to Ian.  I also thought that the baby daddy would bring one and possibly throw me off. But even with a referral, I couldn't afford it.  There are free services available but I was so iffy on it, that I really didn't take the time to follow through.  The main reason I opted to do it on my own was because I felt that our case was fairly straight forward.  Since the baby daddy has had no visitation, the child support amount would be calculated by the court's guidelines. 

Research and use your resources.

If you're going to represent yourself, be prepared with all the necessary paperwork, knowledge of the process and your legal rights.  If you have questions, google, google, google.  Call your local child support services department.  In my case, I also reached out to friends that are attorneys and social workers.  I wanted to make sure I knew what to expect. 

Be as mentally and emotionally prepared as you can.

It is really important to put your best foot forward and represent yourself as a fit parent.  I knew I would be calm and collected but my only worry was how I would feel seeing the baby daddy for the first time.  We had not seen or spoken to each other in over a year and a half.  Would I be upset, hurt, want to ask questions?  The day before, I was filled with so many emotions.  I had to get out of the house to relax and clear my mind.  A solo dinner at a sushi bar did it for me.  The morning of, I was ready to go.  Funny enough, I didn't know he was right in front of my face when we crossed paths the first time.  We didn't acknowledge or talk to each other until mediation.  We were cordial enough to get through the process without arguing or upsetting one another though.  Actually, I was nicer than I should have been with all things considered, but I think it's because I got the win for Ian.

Dress for success.

Look the part.  Dress professionally.  I wore the outfit pictured above.  I thought about having to hide my tats but I wore what was comfortable and decent enough for my style.  I  loved my outfit, which made me feel super confident.  Along with the usual necessities, this purse was big enough to fit my 1 inch binder, a water bottle and snacks!

Be on time.

I'm never on Filipino time, so I was 30 minutes early.  I was able to collect myself, go over paperwork, relax and breathe before the whole thing.  Since we both came on time, we were able to get the process started and didn't have to stay there all day.

Even though I got the child support win for Ian,

I felt like I got a partial victory.

No amount of money can replace a father for Ian.

I asked the baby daddy why he didn't want to do visitation 

and I got a BS answer of "I don't know how."

He knows that I was and will always be available

to help him have a relationship with his son

if he is ready to step up.

But HE HAS TO BE READY.

I reached out to him about visitation

if it was something he wanted to do, 

which would also decrease the child support amount.

No response means no fucks given.

I get it. 

A year and a half of nothing continues.. 

Good luck to you if you are starting the child support process.  It can take some time, but be patient.  It will be worth it.  Trust the process.  Know that all the paperwork, hassle, waiting, and inconvenience is for the best interest of your child.  

<3

Melissa

 

Time is Precious

If you're going to take advantage of something, take advantage of your Time.

Never waste such a precious gift, for it can never be regained.

Time has the power to heal, create a wonderful life, 

allows us to grow and gives us a new perspective. 

Time will fly.
Stay in the moment and take it all in.

<3
Melissa

First Days of 30

I bid my 20s adieu and celebrated my 30th in Vegas last week. I had 5 days to balance spending time with Ian, family and relatives from Canada with partying, shopping, and eating Vegas style. I even snuck in a little gambling in which I won on the very last roll!

I have to admit that welcoming my 30th was a bit scary. But since I'm sooo over my 20s, I'm ready for a fresh new decade. The first days of thirty were filled with love, family, dancing, laughs and some of Ian's firsts. If that was any indication of the next chapter in my life, then I'm ready to jump in. 

<3
Melissa

 

Ian's First Flight

 

Ian's First Visit to Las Vegas

 

Ian's First Swim

 

Ian clapping his hands for the first time!

Working on a Comeback

In the midst of planning my 30th, I'm working on a project that will be added to this blog.  

A true gemini always has several things going on. 

 Let's see if I can focus long enough to complete EVERYTHING I want done.

One thing I know single moms do best:

Work that hustle

<3

Melissa

Letter to Ian

Dear Ian,

You're too young to understand the significance of today, but know that as you climbed onto me to wake me up this morning, I felt how special I am to you.  You haven't formed real words, yet I know that you love me.  With every reach, grasp and whine, I know that you know I'm your mama.

Today isn't just to celebrate me being your mom, but for me to celebrate you being my son.  I thank God each and every day that I was so blessed to have such a sweet and loving son.  You have impacted every aspect of my life, making me stronger and better.

You have taught me the true meaning of love.  With the good and difficult days, you have taught me patience, faith and confidence.  It has been so rewarding to see you grow, learn and smile.  I wish you could stay my little boy forever, but at the same time, I can't wait to raise you into a little gentleman.

These 8 months have gone by so quickly.  I find myself cherishing every hug, every laugh and every look of love because I know you're growing to be more independent.  Photos of you are filling up my new phone already!

Thank you for being my light, my pride and joy, my greatest accomplishment.

<3

Mama

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful women in my life 
who serve as great role models for me to be
the best mama for Ian.

Mother's Day Picks

 

Ok, I may be last minute on this but my mom is hard to shop for.  Even though I know that she'd be happy with a photo of Ian and herself on a pillow (just as she has one of me and her from a previous Mother's Day), I complied 5 things she's either been hinting at or I know she'd be happily surprised with.

1. White Blazer

2. Black flats

3.Keurig

4. Disney Park Hopper

5. Flowers - I'd get them in yellow since it's her favorite color

Which do you think I should get?

She deserves it all, but unfortunately I can't afford them all at once.

Maybe I'll surprise her on a random day with the ones I don't end up giving her on Sunday.

Who wouldn't want that?? 

Plus...like most holidays like this, we should appreciate mothers everyday.

<3

Melissa

Poolside Buddies

Sandals: Call It Spring

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Quick update before my soft serve melts even more!

Besides going to Costco for purchasing diapers, formula, and wipes, I go there for

the alcohol and snacks!

I'm celebrating Cinco de Mayo poolside with their 1800 tequila Ultimate Pomegranate Margarita and their soft serve swirl with a churro!
There goes that milf bikini body :(

Anyways, I love that the margarita is already mixed and ready to serve.  Here I've just blended it with ice to make it slushy.  I've had it over ice and it's just as yummy!

How are you celebrating?

Polyvore Dreamin'

Happy 1st of May to you all and 

Happy birthday month for me! 

I can't believe almost half of the year is gone.

This May is a huge month for me.  Not only will I be celebrating my BIG 3-0, but it will also by my FIRST MOTHER'S DAY! In all honestly, I'm glad I have an excuse to celebrate ME.  Sounds selfish huh?  Sorrynotsorry 'cause for the past few years I have been selfless.  Sometimes too selfless.  (This has nothing to do with how parents are selfless when it comes to their children.)  I mean I've been selfless in a negative way in relationships that I've been in.  

Mother's Day will be spent with family as a joined grad celebration for my nephew.  But for my birthday, I'm going to TRY to party.  haha...I don't sound as enthusiastic as I should be given that stance I just took. I said try 'cause I'm a mom..who is going to be 30 and though I feel like I still have some party in me, I know I'm a different person and can't party like I have in the past. 

Last year, I had the most low key birthday ever since I was 5 months pregnant.  And while I was getting bigger, everyone jumped on the fitness wagon.. whiiich later had me envying them even more as they lived it up at day parties all summer.

It's no secret that having a kid costs $$$$.  So though I'd usually spend the few weeks before my birthday to purchase outfits and swimwear (yes plural), I'm left to budget and decide which items can be left on Polyvore dreamborads, wishlists or on their hangers as I sadly walk by.  

I had a Polyvore for work, but created a personal one to share here.

I really wish there was a Polyvore for babies/kids.  But I guess that's what Pinterest is for.

Here's my first dreamboard:

I decided on making it all things Nike to go along with my goal to stay fit..for you know...that milf bikini body. lol..it's not called my dreamboard for nothing.

<3

Melissa

The Magz Wed

My cousin Krystle FINALLY got married on Sunday.  And I don't mean that in a way that we thought she would never get married or anything.  It's just that this whole month of April has been dedicated to her and her special day.  I've seen her the most this month than I have in the last few years put together.  (That's actually sad, so I hope realizing that changes things.)  Besides her birthday, 1/4 was the wedding shower, 2/4 was her bridal shower, 3/4 was her bachelorette and the wedding made it 4/4.  Let's just say her bridesmaids were counting down just as much as the bride(zilla).. haha.

All teasing aside, the wedding was beautiful.  

The reception was at the Bel-Air Bay Club in Pacific Palisades.  

Their hors d'oeuvres were to die for! I loved the mashed potatoes smothered with mushrooms, green onions, cheese, onion rings and truffle butter sauce..oh my! And if I could, I would have stuffed my face with the ahi tuna.  The food made up for the no alcohol and no dancing.  Though I did sneak in a small bottle of Moscato and used Ian to get my groove on by "lulling" him to sleep.  I'm surprised he got 2 naps in!

I wish I was able to take more pictures of Krystle's dream wedding 'cause everything was beautiful and matched her taste & personality.

Btw, Krystle is a floral designer, does candy stations and photo booths for all occasions. 

Visit bloomeriafloraldesign for more info!

Realization of the night- Weddings don't get to me anymore.  I don't envy the couple's love and think of what my special day would be like with my "perfect guy" that I totally made up.  Don't get me wrong, I look forward to getting married one day.  I guess it goes to show where my priorities lie at this time.  I'll say it over and over.  Ian is my number one.  I am completely immersed in my love for him.  I've never felt any love like it.  And just as couples marry and choose to commit themselves to one another, I am fully committing myself to Ian.  

Two take-a-ways from today:

1) Ian is growing up way too fast.  

He's not my little tiny baby anymore.  He's wearing a tie! 

aaand he's just as big as his 1 1/2yr old cousin.

Button down shirt: OshKoshB'Gosh Pants: H&M Baby
Tie: Children's Place Hat: gifted
Shoes (shown below): Carters

 2) #1 reason I'd want a boyfriend:
I need someone to always be there to take good pictures of me and Ian.

True story- 

I've cried because my parents are incapable of taking decent photos of us.

So if you see pictures of me and Ian, you can guess that it took 10 shots
..or I used a tripod.

With that said, here's Ian's first bathroom pic/selfie.

I specifically got a Micky Mouse case so he'd look at the camera.

It works like a charm 'cause he LOVES Mickey.

<3

Melissa

Ian's Easter Basket

Ian's only 7 months old.  He can't eat candy and definitely can't play with the little toys found in Easter eggs.  But that doesn't mean Ian can't have an Easter basket full of goodies.  Instead, I filled it with swim trunks he's going to need this Spring/Summer when we go on vacation (tell you where later), Easter eggs with new snacks he CAN eat, a trainer sippy to practice with and candy for him to share with me and his grandparents (Reese's, Twix and KitKats please). 

Swim Trunks: Mickey - Target,  Anchors - Walmart

Trainer Sippy Cup: Nuk

Snacks: Gerber Puffs

Best thing, I chose a basket that I can reuse to keep in the toys that are currently scattered around his room.  I'm envisioning him lugging his basket around as he follows me pointing to toys he needs to "collect" (ha ha ha).

Can't wait to take Ian on his first Easter Egg Hunt!
Follow us on Instagram to see how many eggs Ian finds..

and if he's not freaked out by the Easter bunny.

<3

Melissa