1-2 Steppin' Out of My Comfort Zone

Growing up, the plan of life was to have a profession (work for someone = stability), get married and have kids. That's when you win at life. Simple enough right? My parents did it. My friends' parents did it. It's basically, tradition. But ever since I was young, I knew I wasn't supposed to follow the usual path. Yes, I thought I'd do the work > married > kids life, but I was different from my friends, cousins...and yup...seeing where I'm at now, proves that.

Everyone "did it right." 

Of course there are times when I'm envious. I look at things and think...how did I get here? Will I catch up? or am I playing a totally different game of life? 

That gut feeling I've had about my path was right. It was only until I had Ian and fell into the rhythm of being a mother did I realize what I wanted my plan to be.
(I'll tease you with that, let's see if the end story matches)

Anyways, to outsiders, I'm shy, quiet, introverted. To insiders, I've always been the spontaneous one. The down for anything (legal and moral) one. Since I always saw myself as more open to experiences, I never thought that "stepping out of my comfort zone" was really an issue, but it really has been. I held myself from schools I wanted to go to, jobs I wanted and people I needed to know. Evidently, I created my own struggles on my path.

I will never say taking on motherhood alone is one of those struggles. My choice was the major move to take on responsibility and truly better myself. Albeit, the timing wasn't perfect and it's a HUGE zone to venture into. Being a new parent is uncharted territory. Even if you add another one, the dynamic changes. Every day you're doing something for someone else. Do I want to wake up at 6am? No. Do I want to ask about your bowel movements every hour? No. Do I want to watch Batman Lego? No (If you want to take Ian for me, msg me) 

Another zone that comes with the territory, dating as a single mom..in today's culture of dating apps, "hanging out" and almost relationships. Let's just say I hope my story doesn't start with, "We met on Tinder." (btw, I'm no longer on any dating apps.) But yes, I've had to swipe through profiles, chat with complete strangers for a connection, meet said strangers (all my previous suitors were all friends of friends) and have to go through the whole babysitter arranging just to have time given away from Ian. 

Then there's the fun part. The part that I realize is determining my definition of success..which is, raising Ian to be a loved, knowledgeable, well-rounded, faithful and kind person. 

As Ian gets older, I want to expose him to a lot of different things not only for experience, but to see what he catches on to. From my IG, you can tell our adventures range from food, arts, movies, events and mini trips. He's so smart, curious, intuitive and eager. More and more, I want him to be immersed in it all, culture, creativity and good people. 

Ian has ALWAYS been into music and dancing. I'm a bit embarrassed right now about his current moves (tongue out, pointing and loose hips) so I've been trying to show him more "choreographed" dance. It started with YouTube, then breakers at FreeStyle Session and our next experience was Cypher Sundays. 

Cypher Sundays is a monthly street dance cypher that aims to explore iconic locations of LA and OC to capture freestyle dance in its purest form. "A moving, street dance, block party."

The one we went to was in Pasadena. I thought, perfect, we'll explore a bit, meet people, dance then eat! What I didn't expect was to start with a warm up session of capoeira. Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone... I cannot do choreo, much less a defensive style of dance. Can I just 1-2 step? BUT it was fun! Good people and good vibes. Ian danced along and stole hearts per usual.

In less than half a year, I've done and experienced significant things that I never have before.
Be it because of motherhood, for love
or an outcome of being more in the present...it's a great feeling.
Balancing what I want to do and what I need to do is really just a merging of
what makes me who I am and what my life's plan is.
It's not so much finding myself, but rather,
stepping out of my comfort zone to share myself with others. 

It's freeing. 

It's happiness. 

It's making my path the story I'll love to tell.

<3

Melissa