Dear Future Husband & Stepdad to Ian,
Thank you for being patient with me and not giving up on me. I've prayed for you EVERY DAY. Every day, that you were ok, that you found faith to get through whatever you were going through, that you were making your way to me, that you were praying for me too.
When I became a single mom, I added to those prayers, that while you were out there, you were becoming everything Ian and I needed. You were a man with integrity, excellent character, strong willed, a positive role model to those around you and most importantly, open to true and unconditional love - having the components of unwavering honesty, patience, and understanding.
Every night, Ian and I held hands as we prayed. Sometimes when my heart ached for you, I cried. Ian was there to caress my cheek, wipe my tears with the comforter and ask, "Mama, you sad?" I would always feel guilty that at a young age, Ian was already taking care of me. But each moment still, I realized that his loving, caring, intuitive nature was a blessing. A blessing that kept me hopeful in you, in God's plan for us.
Ian is going to be the best stepson. He is already so sweet, friendly and funny. He is engaging, curious and smart. Don't worry about being the "perfect" father figure because you have me to help. Ian will always be my own and I can proudly say that you don't need to "replace" anyone. You are there to enhance. So if you are ever worried about being an "instadad," don't. You being here already means you're ready. You're ready to be with me to take on everything together. They say you should be weary that you'll never be #1, but there are no numbers. I will invest my time in you, our time, for our future, our family. My heart has kept room for you and MORE children.
The times that I thought I found you, I didn't know if you were real. I didn't know how to handle, how to make sure you'd stay. I tried to prove to you that it was me, gave my whole self, bad, ugly, best and raw. I "expected" to be accepted because you were "the one." I'm sorry for letting someone have me before you.
Thank you for being patient with me and not giving up on me. I've prayed for you EVERY DAY. Every day, that you were ok, that you found faith to get through whatever you were going through, that you were making your way to me, that you were praying for me too.
When I became a single mom, I added to those prayers, that while you were out there, you were becoming everything Ian and I needed. You were a man with integrity, excellent character, strong willed, a positive role model to those around you and most importantly, open to true and unconditional love - having the components of unwavering honesty, patience, and understanding.
Every night, Ian and I held hands as we prayed. Sometimes when my heart ached for you, I cried. Ian was there to caress my cheek, wipe my tears with the comforter and ask, "Mama, you sad?" I would always feel guilty that at a young age, Ian was already taking care of me. But each moment still, I realized that his loving, caring, intuitive nature was a blessing. A blessing that kept me hopeful in you, in God's plan for us.
Ian is going to be the best stepson. He is already so sweet, friendly and funny. He is engaging, curious and smart. Don't worry about being the "perfect" father figure because you have me to help. Ian will always be my own and I can proudly say that you don't need to "replace" anyone. You are there to enhance. So if you are ever worried about being an "instadad," don't. You being here already means you're ready. You're ready to be with me to take on everything together. They say you should be weary that you'll never be #1, but there are no numbers. I will invest my time in you, our time, for our future, our family. My heart has kept room for you and MORE children.
The times that I thought I found you, I didn't know if you were real. I didn't know how to handle, how to make sure you'd stay. I tried to prove to you that it was me, gave my whole self, bad, ugly, best and raw. I "expected" to be accepted because you were "the one." I'm sorry for letting someone have me before you.
In my journey to find confidence and security in myself, as a lover, mother, friend, family member, I'm grateful for the time alone. I needed the space to let go of my expectations and the way I thought my life should be and accept the actual way it is.. that doesn’t mean I ever gave up on you..I couldn't. Trust me, I tried.
I pray to be on the path God has planned for me. To not veer off too far, because it just delays the moment I face you. I truly believe you are part of that path. We may have already crossed, we may have even met. We may have even loved each other before. Whatever the case, our eyes, our hands, our hearts will be in sync at the right time for us to go at it together, forever.
I’m not going to settle for someone else, because he’s not you. I’m not going to lower my standards, because you will exceed any idea I can fathom in my mind. You will finally be real. You will allow me to bask in the glory of what it’s like to love and really be loved. You will be the man Ian can look up to and feel safe.
You, my dear, husband are worth the wait. Don’t spend time wondering where I am. I am here, and I’m not going anywhere. Live your life, have adventures, great times, chase your dreams, enjoy successes. So when we do meet, we will only add joy to each other’s lives. No matter how long it takes, I will never stop waiting for you, wanting you.. for I know you are out there waiting and wanting me too. Until we find each other, know my heart is with you in your journey.
I pray to be on the path God has planned for me. To not veer off too far, because it just delays the moment I face you. I truly believe you are part of that path. We may have already crossed, we may have even met. We may have even loved each other before. Whatever the case, our eyes, our hands, our hearts will be in sync at the right time for us to go at it together, forever.
I’m not going to settle for someone else, because he’s not you. I’m not going to lower my standards, because you will exceed any idea I can fathom in my mind. You will finally be real. You will allow me to bask in the glory of what it’s like to love and really be loved. You will be the man Ian can look up to and feel safe.
You, my dear, husband are worth the wait. Don’t spend time wondering where I am. I am here, and I’m not going anywhere. Live your life, have adventures, great times, chase your dreams, enjoy successes. So when we do meet, we will only add joy to each other’s lives. No matter how long it takes, I will never stop waiting for you, wanting you.. for I know you are out there waiting and wanting me too. Until we find each other, know my heart is with you in your journey.
<3
Melissa
Have faith:
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